PRESENT

“I’m not sure,” I answered. “This is new for me.”

“This is new for me too,” she replied with a smile. “But it’s also exciting. It’s like a present that we get to open together.” 

—

I wish I would have prepared something to say when I first asked Claudia to be my girlfriend.

I had gotten her a gift that I thought would ask, “Will you be my girlfriend” in the same way an engagement ring asks, “Will you marry me?” However, as we sat outside of our college campus that night, I realized that the punchline might need a little set-up. 

I rambled on about how great it had been getting to know her the past few weeks and how she was my person. Claudia sat there listening with a big smile the whole time. I then went into a mumbled monologue about how she was my person before deciding to just let my gift speak for itself. 

“All this to say,” I began, wanting to conclude my awkward and unprepared TED Talk. “I wanted to give you something.” 

At this, I pulled a black velvet-ish jewelry box out of my jacket pocket. 

Claudia’s smile dropped. 

“What’s that?” She asked anxiously.

It was at this moment I realized how this gesture could be misconstrued.

“It’s not a ring,” I said assuredly as I handed her the box. “Open it.”

Inside was a key necklace with “girlfriend” inscribed on it. It was a callback to our first date and a way to let everyone know that she was mine. I also thought it could lead to potential future gifts as our relationship also showed potential. “My answer is yes,” she responded, after reading the inscription. “I would love to be your girlfriend.”I guess my gift did what I needed to after all. 

“So what do we do now?” She asked as she put the gift around her neck. “Do we update our Facebook statuses? Should we talk about boundaries? What do we do now that we’re in a relationship?”

“I’m not sure,” I answered. “This is new for me.”

“This is new for me too,” she replied with a smile. “But it’s also exciting. It’s like a present that we get to open together.” 

—

I like the analogy of our relationship being like a present. It makes me think of Christmas time.

As a kid, I would pray all season for a specific present. When Christmas Day finally came, I had a process for opening my presents. Essentially, I either throw things away or I would keep them.

I would untie the ribbon… and throw it away.

I would read the card out loud… and put it somewhere safe to keep.

I would tear off the wrapping paper… and throw it away.

I would find the extra items (batteries, game cartridges, etc. )… and keep them close by.

And through this whole process, it would become clear to me that I was about to get what I had been praying for all long. 

—

Similarly to how I would pray for a specific present long before Christmas Day, I have also been praying for my future wife long before I met Claudia.

I also mentioned how I had a process for opening presents as a kid. I would make a pile of things to throw away (the ribbon and wrapping paper) and I would make a pile of things to keep (the card and extra items). As Claudia and I have been opening the present of our relationship together for the past sixth months, we have had to do the same. 

We have untied past mistakes… and thrown them away.

We have learned to read each other… and put what we hear somewhere safe to keep.

We have torn off current hurt… and thrown it away.

We have found our extra person… and keep them close by. 

And through this whole process, it is becoming clear to both of us that we are about to get what we have been praying for all long.