TAG

One of my favorite games to play growing up was tag. I enjoined the back-and-forth chase; the mutual pursuit. 

As I chased the other kids around the playground, I’d run as hard and fast as I could to catch up to them. When I finally did, I’d reach out my hand, swat them on the side, and shout “TAG. YOU’RE IT!” Many times, the kid who I had just tagged would then turn around chase me back. When they got close, they’d reach out their hand, swat me on the side, and shout “TAG. YOU’RE IT!” This back-and-forth chase would go on for what felt like hours. It was as if we were feeding off each other’s energy. Getting chased by other kids made us want to chase them back. Getting tagged other players made us want to tag them back.

As I mentioned, the back-and-forth chase and mutual pursuit were what made tag a lot of fun for me. 

One of the things that took the fun out of tag was when one kid never wanted to be “it.” This kid would want to be chased but didn’t want to chase back. It wouldn’t surprise me if a young John Calvin came up with the doctrine of total depravity after encountering a kid like this. 

Another thing that took the fun out of tag was when one kid was stuck being “it” for the duration of the game. This kid would chase the kids but never catch up with them. Often times, the perpetual “it” kid would eventually get tired and want to stop playing. 

Ocassioanly in this latter instance, I would “take the l” and let them tag me (it was the Christian thing to do). Through a strained, exhausted shout, they’d say, “TAG. YOU’RE IT!” as the slapped my outstretched and surrendered hand. From there, the game was back on and the mutual pursuit continued. 

I don’t know a lot about relationships. What I do know though is that they can sometimes play out like a game of tag. 

“I have seen people in committed relationships assume the role of the kid who is always “it.” Meaning, they are the one doing all the chasing, pursuing, and giving. This can lead to relational burnout. Inevitably, the”it” person will get tired and want to stop playing (i.e. end the relationship). 

In addition to this, I have heard single people share their desire to be pursued. While this is not at all a bad desire to have, it can carry the same attitude as the kid who never wants to be “it.” By omitting what they want to give in a relationship and only sharing what they want to get in a relationship, they could be indicating that they want to be chased, but don’t want to chase back.

As I mentioned before, relationships can be like a game of tag. My wife, Claudia and I’s relationship is a lot like a game of tag. However, ours isn’t one where one of us is always “it.” Rather, ours is one of mutual pursuit. From her Instagram posts, it would appear that I am always “it.” Because I also made the first move and asked her to play, it could appear that I’m the only one who is doing the pursuing. While she certainly shares more about the ways in which I chase her, believe me when I say that she pursues me with the same energy that I pursue her. One of the ways that I pursue her is by giving her gifts. A bouquet of flowers is my way of saying, “I Love You,” as well as, “TAG. YOU’RE IT!” One of the ways that she pursues me is with words of affirmation. This is her way of saying, “I Love You,” as well as, “TAG. YOU’RE IT!” I think I can speak for both of us when I say that we feed off of each other’s energy.

Being pursued makes us want to pursue the other person. Ephesians 5:21-33 talks about how husbands and wives are supposed to submit to and pursue each other as Christ submitted to the Father and pursued the church. When a relationship looks like a game of tag, you can be both the pursuer and the pursuee. I would argue that this not only makes the relationship more healthy, it also makes it a lot more fun.