How to Resolve Conflict

Conflict is inevitable. As a leader, you have the choice to either avoid it or address it. In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus gave His disciples a three-step template for addressing conflict. 

Step 1: One-on-One — The first step in addressing conflict is to go to the person one-on-one. Matthew 18:15 reads, “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back” (NLT). Meaning, the first step in addressing conflict is not to ignore it or go to someone else. Rather, the first step is to go directly to the person and try to resolve it with him. By doing this, you will probably be able to solve the problem without having to get other people involved. 

Step 2: Witnesses — The second step in addressing conflict is to bring two or three people with you to meet with the person. Matthew 18:16 reads, “But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses” (NLT). If your one-on-one conversation doesn’t end in a resolution, then you need to bring some peers with you to address the issue. These people will essentially “witness” the conversation and try to help the two of you reconcile. 

Step 3: Leaders — The third and final step in addressing conflict is to go to the leaders. Matthew 18:17 reads, “If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector” (NLT). If both the one-on-one and witness conversations do not end in a resolution, then you need to involve the leaders above the two of you. From there, they will decide how to resolve the conflict. Within a church setting, this could be the pastoral staff or elder board. In a workplace setting, this could be your supervisor or the HR Department.

Think about it: Have you ever used Jesus’ three-step template for addressing conflict? Why or why not? 

A Leader Worth Imitating,  Principle 14: Conflict